Previously on What Kind of Day Has It Been: Michael didn’t do anything. Michael didn’t get to visit hotels. Michael was fired. “Are you going to write any more conversations?”
We were supposed to be reporting this live from a hotel room at the lovely Manchester Grand Hyatt in sunny San Diego, California. But we’re not. Because Mom vetoed the idea choosing instead to visit friends. Oh Well. However Disaster has struck! the Modem, the AOL software or the archaic laptop pooped out on us. And that means no daily updates. But I promised my readers (yes, all two of you) daily updates, and I’m doing to deliver them, dammit.
By the way, I got all of the Compendium gang gifts in Orange County so you have at least a little incentive to come to JournalCon. Also my Mom doesn’t love me anymore as a result of it.
Today was good. Not particularly great (I can’t get online) but it didn’t suck as much as yesterday, when it rained. All day. From about 8:00 on Wednesday to 9:00 on Thursday it rained. I’m guessing another California tradition is about to begin. Mudslides. Just a prediction. I saw Uncle Clay (from Oh Come, All Ye Faithful) and his lizards at their town house in Cypress. Yeah I don’t think I ever want to see the lizards again. They’re creepy, skeevy and a little gross. Also I have to be in College before Tim can get them. We went to Newport Beach and amazingly I didn’t see anyone punching anyone else. However I did see more Porsche Cayennes in 15 minutes than I have anywhere since they came out. A Porsche SUV? Really?
But I digress. Tim told on me when I tried to buy Nathan and Jonah and Marten’s presents (yes, what I mean was “Nathan & Jonah” and Marten. You have to share. Presents ain’t cheap. Especially in Orange County) But I ignored the little snitch and got the presents anyway. I was supposedly in “big trouble” but it amounted to a “slap on the wrist”. Oh great, now I’m talking like a Zagat’s Guide. Okay, gotta snap out of it…Then we went to car dealers and saw Porsches and other cars that none of us can afford. Then we went to IKEA and saw cheap Scandinavian furniture that I can afford. I pleaded with mom to get you all IKEA toy frogs, but it didn’t pass. So you got *sound of a jet flying overhead* instead. I hope you don’t mind. When we got home the laptop still didn’t work. Which is sad because it means you have to wait greater than or equal to two days until another update. AT ALL. The lesson in this is such: “Never use a laptop that is appallingly out of date to try to inform your friends of your Californian Exploits.” Good, eh?
Michael: Yeah, I’m going to write more Convorsations. And they’ll be good.
(A Dimensional Portal opens behind Michael and he falls in, screams and lands on a large Mexican Hacienda.)
Michael: Wait a second. Where am I?
Ghost of Norm Owens: You’re in the future, Michael.
Michael: Who are you?
Ghost of Norm Owens: I’m the guy on the stationary that’s at your grandmother’s house.
Michael: The guy we draw funny faces on his picture at the top of the stationary?
Ghost of Norm Owens: Umm…Okay…Here’s the deal. You’ve been sent to the future. The world has been overtaken by stupidity and crude dumb humor. You have to reunite the Compendium gang to save the world. Now you have a large villa...
Hacienda: I’m a hacienda. A Large Mexican Hacienda
Ghost of Norm Owens: Yeah, I just said that in your ad. Who’s the realtor around here?
Hacienda: You are, Norm
Ghost of Norm Owens: Now I can equip you for this mission. You’ll have a car waiting in every city, a private Gulfstream jet to whisk you off to the different locations, and a signed letter from me, a benefactor of the arts. Now your first mission is to find Jonah Comstock. He’s a Reporter for the Chicago Tribune. Now you have to get him back…because if he doesn’t leave Chicago within 72 hours, he’ll be killed and you aren’t allowed to tell him that. Now Go!
Tomorrow: Manchester, Part Two: Michael discovers that throwing glass into recyclable containers is fun, Big Lots has a sucky selection, his Grandma is a little bit racist, and ponders the taste of 99 cent wine. Also Michael finds Jonah, but worries for his safety, as Jonah has doubts about rejoining him…especially after what Marten did so many years ago. Dun-dun-duh!
